What If – Santa was real?

I’ve decided to start a new weekly feature here in the Zooniverse, – What if. Since I don’t have anything interesting to talk about right now, I think its a solid feature that will get me to the front page of Digg in no time.

What if Santa turned out to be real

Santa might be the biggest/most popular myth ever. Santa Clause, Father Christmas, Papa Noel, Cris Kringle, whatever you want to call him, he has captured the imagination of the entire world. There are stories about Santa, movies about Santa, cartoons about Santa, you name the media format and Santa is close by. Santa is so popular that even NORAD tracks his sleigh on Christmas eve. When the North American Aerospace Defense Command sets up a website for you, you know you’ve made it. While Santa is a big deal, we all know deep down that sadly he isn’t real

Jump ahead to next December, you turn on the TV one morning and Matt Lauer is talking about Santa. This isn’t your typical Santa news report though since Matt is proclaiming that Santa Clause is in fact real. NASA scientists have found his factory at the north pole, flying sleigh and all. This would probably be the biggest news story in history, next to maybe the return of Jesus, or flying cars. Either way if Santa was real it would completely change Christmas as we know it.

Good For Christmas

The discovery of Santa would be great for Christmas. The entire holiday season would have an official spokesperson. Santa could set up a sweet website, blog about making toys, post pictures of his huge factory and talk about comical run-ins he has had with non-believers. Santa would have to make the media rounds around the holidays, hitting all the late night talk shows to promote Christmas and spread holiday cheer. Best of all about the existence of Santa is no one would ever have to buy Christmas presents! Santa has gift giving all taken care of. This would obviously be the best part of Santa being real, lots of free stuff. Plus assuming that he always gets you what you want, thats even better. No more disappointing Christmas mornings when all you get is some Chapstick in your stocking and a bathing suit that doesn’t fit right.

Bad For Christmas

The existence of Santa would cause huge problems for retailers around the holiday season. There would be no shopping season, no black friday, no talk of how much people spend on presents. This would probably be a huge problem, but after a while things would change and stores would just have to accept the fact that Christmas shopping is no longer necessary. Another problem that would go along with the discovery of Santa is how Santa would completely upstage Jesus as the “mascot” of Christmas. I mean, Jesus is cool but we’re now dealing with Santa Clause giving you presents you actually want, and you don’t have to spend money on presents for friends/family. This would be a big issue and I’m not sure how Jesus would be able to gain the kind of fame he had when Santa was a myth. Jesus would have a pretty hard time defending his image (since hes dead or a disembodied spirit or whatever) and I would guess the Catholic church would probably have to do some serious advertising to bring him back to “Son of God” status.

In conclusion I think we can all see that if Santa was real, things would be great. Who knows maybe along with the discovery of Santa, he would bring world peace, end famine and maybe just maybe, industrialized nations could finally have flying cars.

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